I would do it all over again for him

“I think divorce is still something that is quite discriminated against in Singapore, especially when it comes to the women. Whenever I say that I’m a single stay-at-home mother, job interviewers are always concerned – but all I want at the end of the day is the energy to go home and be a mother.

Of course it does helps that I have single mother friends or married mothers who are understanding of my circumstances – even married mothers already feel overwhelmed at times trying to balance work and family. But despite having a small group of close friends I seek emotional support from, there are many practical areas in which they are unable to help me with.

At times, I still experience loneliness in my parenting journey and get little respite from the daily care-giving of Jovan. But at the end of the day, what I appreciate the most is watching Jovan grow up like any other kid in an ‘intact’ family. I am happy to see that he’s not losing out, and in certain cases I think he is very blessed because my love for him is more than sufficient.

I cherish the moments when Jovan kisses and hugs me, and tells me that he loves me the most in the world – “I love you the most mama and I know you take care of me whenever I’m sick”. These are things he says that may not mean that much to him, but I would do it all over again just for him.”

Testimony by Valerie, Alumni of HCSA Dayspring SPIN



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